the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
