the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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