soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
