Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
