what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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