Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
