the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
