Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
