Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
