I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
