I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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