He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
