He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
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