I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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