there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
