Buhtt sex?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
