think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
