I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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