erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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