I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I party with great urgency now.
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