Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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