well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Don't tell me you're on acid again
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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