just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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