how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
