My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
my shit smells like andre
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
