you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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