just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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