I wish I could punch you in the face.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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