I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
its liver damage thursday
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
