You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I will die if light touches me.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
being pregnant is like rehab
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
3 2 1 whiskey
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
