I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
