it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
