I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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