Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
