We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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