you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
