There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
