the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
