i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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