Pappa wants mamma naked
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I think my nap took me to another dimension
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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