Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Send help, water and tortillas.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
