shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
