His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I believe in your delicious
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
