I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
