i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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