I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
