My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
