All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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