Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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