Only a mothe r could love this liver
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
