Cold hands, warm shart.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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