I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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