Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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