I heard we made out
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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