Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
home. puking in laundry basket.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
