Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
