Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize