i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Panties = found
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
