Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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