Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
