I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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