Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
