If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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