u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
