sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
